Every year on Fathers Day I look to the heavens and wish my dad a happy heavenly Fathers Day. There are many people who have lost a father, some may have endured that loss like me as a very young child. Thankfully, I have a mum who taught our family many very valuable lessons. She raised 3 incredible men, mostly single handed who have gone on to become great human beings and fathers themselves.
As a result, growing up I’ve been blessed with three amazing brothers and two sisters. But today on Fathers Day, I want to pay tribute to these three incredible men who have through the years played a ‘fatherly role’ in my life without even realising it most of the time.
Darin – I am thankful that you were chosen to be my eldest brother. I got to experience what I believe God is through my relationship with you. You taught me to be kind but firm, true to form.
Favourite memory: I think I was around eleven or twelve. Mel (baby sister for those who don’t know) and I got to visit you in East London for our school holidays. Wow, we took a Greyhound bus! All through the journey, I looked out the window, smiled and day dreamed because opportunity was all around me. That experience shaped my relationship with opportunity. I went forward in my own life, being opened to and never missing any opportunity. For those who don’t know, East London is a city on the southeast coast of South Africa which is about an eleven hour bus ride from our home town Durban and back in the day Greyhound was considered a luxury long distance bus ride.
Jerome – We had the least number of years between us and I am thankful for all the time I got to ‘hang out’ with you.
Favourite memory: Coming to Joburg - the 'City of Gold' and going to college. Carpooling everyday with you and how you trusted me with your car. Dropping you and Sharma Samuels (bothers wife) at work and heading off to college. I must admit though when I dropped you off, I did put the music in the car on very loud and I jammed along to my favorite tunes something I confess I did not do a few years later when I got my own car. We had so much fun together and learned many things along the way. You showed me as a teenage girl that having fun can co-exist with responsibility.
Russel – my middle brother. I am thankful for the chats we had when I was a young adult. You taught me resilience.
Favorite memory: At 22 years old, I refused to tell anyone I was sleeping on a mattress when I got my first job, renting my first place. I wanted to do it all on my own and then I got sick because that’s what happens on a tiled floor in Joburg in the middle of winter without a heater. You brought me a bed in your silver grey 4x4 and you said “don’t be mad, you can’t get sick. You need to be healthy to work so you can buy your own bed one day” typical you, making us laugh. Moral of the story: it’s good to be independent but know when to reach out for help so you can continue reaching for your dreams.
To my husband Frederico Carvalho, I want to pay tribute to you as the father of our two wonderful little people who are just beautifully who they are while in a sense ‘half of you and half of me’ (sidewink). They are blessed to have you as a father.
To everyone on this day who may be missing their father, let it be told “the teachings can be well taught, the lessons well learnt and the family unit evolved” Amen.